OH' Bama!

Last week Obama did the first thing that I have enjoyed this whole election. If you don't know the deal I will give you a lil rundown in my own words. He has a preacher that has talked about white people in an unkind racist way. Apparently you can't do that anymore so some one please tell Paul Mooney he has to be nice to us now. It is a sad time in America when Black people get in trouble for talking about White people. I haven't followed this that closely and I don't know exactly what the preacher said but I think it was something like Black people walk like this and White people walk like that and I am pretty sure that the Black preacher used a funny White guy voice that sounded similar Robert Carradine better known as Lewis in "Revenge of the Nerds" when he was talking about how White people talk to the police differently than African Americans. So White people got mad and accussed Barack Obama of being a racist because he knows some one that has said some silly shit about another race. So Barrack took it like a man. He went on TV and told the world "listen people say crap like this all the time and I think we should fix it blah blah blah." I watched the speech it was good and he actually challenged Americans to talk about race. It was like a special episode of "Growing Pains" where at the end of the episode they get out of charachter and talk about how important teen pregnancy is. I don't think they phrased it quite like that where they made a statement expressing their belief on the importance of teens being pregnant it was more like "Hi, I am Kirk Cameron and I play Mike Seaver on this horrendous 80's sitcom and we had a lot of fun tonight but teen pregnancy is no joke. Teen girls get pregnant all the time and a lot of them are Black (if I thought that anybody would read this I would leave that line out but come on, its the internet and I am so edgy, David Cross even said so in a dream I had about Arrested Development...I am really only edgy if you a stickler for the rules of grammar and punctuation) Girls so remember to practice safe sex and don't forget the safest way to avoid a situation like this is abstinence which shouldn't be a problem cause lets face it you are watching Growing Pains and the chances that you are getting any trim is highly unlikely."

Kirk Cameron is a really preachy douche but man what a Rascal. So Obama challenged the nation to step up and talk about race in order to figure out once and for all how much longer Whites can be the "MAN" and how much longer Blacks can be mad about Slavery. I am sure White people will be the "MAN" for at least 4 more years because I do not think Obama is going to pull this one out which is good for Black people because then they can stay mad at us for slavery that much longer. I actually think it is completely fair for Black people to stay mad about slavery until we have had our second Black President because I have a feeling whoever the first one is going to by no fault of his own set race relations back at least 30 years because there are just so many people that will be so super critical of the first Black President that he will be called a failure despite the fact that he was elected to perform miracles that he just couldn't fulfill. So then justly everyone will go back to hating just based on stereo types and other nonsensical forms of judgment and during those years I say Black people have all the right in the world to bitch about their ancestors being slaves.

There is a lesson to be learned from Mr. Obama, and that is that hate knows no bounds. Everyone hates somebody. Even God hates sinners according to my own scarce knowledge of the Bible. He hates sinners the same way I hate people that put toilet paper on the back of the seat instead of hanging it properly from the dispenser. I have no time for any human ( if you can even call them that) that just sets the toilet paper on the tank and expects that to be good enough. That is cruel and unforgiveable because if I am in a situation where I have to poop and there is and no toilet paper left on the role and I start to wonder if I am going to use a magazine, my sock, or my fiances good hand towels to wipe up what was once Chipotle and now resembles a rotten crabapple that has been smashed with one of those big red wiffle ball bats for 4 year old boys that can't hit the ball with the yellow bat cause its to thin and they don't know how to keep their stupid eye on the ball with out taking it literally and getting pelted time and time in their dumb little face because they think there supposed to get hit by a pitch instead of swinging the bat like I've shown them how to do countless times yet they still think the object of the game is to keep your eye on ball so it hits you in the face and you can cry and go inside and color a picture of Elmo and flush all your Uncles dreams of having a major leaguer in the family down the toilet cause....I don't know what happened with this post. I have gone on some odd tangents and now I have to poop which will be nice cause I know there is paper on the role because the lady love that I live with is a respectable human being.