tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69870487226985724972012-02-16T12:46:05.977-05:00Welcome to billsquire.comBillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.comBlogger401100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-12519128221431978282009-04-07T13:39:00.001-04:002009-04-07T13:39:45.671-04:00

4/7/2009The ContestAfter I had been doing Stand-Up for several months I entered a contest at The Bassa Vita Lonuge in Lakewood. Every newer comic in the city entered this contest including me. I was very excited to see how I stacked up against the other comics in Cleveland. The night I was scheduled to perform I was at the club super early again. I was super excited and nervous for this show. I

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-15493860918803871032009-03-15T13:12:00.001-04:002009-03-16T08:41:26.309-04:00

When I started doing Stand Up every Monday they would hold auditions at The Cleveland Improv for Open Mike Night. With One performance under my belt so far I felt like I have never been more ready to perform at a Comedy Club. I arrived at the club at 7 a.m. to make sure I was able to perform. Auditions were at 11 am so I signed my name on the paper and sat in the empty club and waited. A guy

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-7861382399096250012009-03-12T21:33:00.001-04:002009-03-12T21:33:38.458-04:00

In May it will be my five-year anniversary of doing Stand Up Comedy. It has been an interesting five years and over the course of the next few months I am going to recount some of my worst and best memories from these years. I am going to start with my very first time on stage doing stand up.If I recall correctly the first time I ever set foot on stage with prepared jokes to tell was May 6, 2004

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-37802228482773534152009-02-25T10:55:00.001-05:002009-02-25T10:55:07.366-05:00

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-34082973158135322852009-02-24T13:47:00.002-05:002009-02-24T15:17:37.307-05:00

Sarcasm Bus

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-31354742645677763582009-02-23T13:00:00.002-05:002009-02-23T13:05:22.769-05:00

I have been very busy this year. I have worked pretty much every single weekend this year except one and that one I spent in Las Vegas with the wife. I just got back from a week long tour that covered South Dakota, North Dakota and Minnesota. I really enjoy going to those places. The audiences are great and I love the flat desolate country side. I have shows in Indiana this week and next week I

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-13672334095846559852009-01-12T20:30:00.003-05:002009-01-12T20:52:29.781-05:00

So on Thursday January 22nd I am doing this show at the House of Blues in Cleveland, Oh. The show is called Sex, Drugs, Comedy, and Rock n' Roll. This ain't no run of the mill comedy show either. There will be two bands playing one is The Dr. Teeth which is the most successful band James Burge has ever been a part of. Also this will mark the glorious return of Falcon Heart which is a motivational

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-17211963942282876372008-12-17T15:29:00.002-05:002008-12-17T15:33:22.984-05:00

I am in TN this week. Last night I was in Clarksville last night. There is an army base there and the show was fun. They bought me shots while I was on stage which I hate but I caved and did the shots. I was pretty drunk luckily I was close to the hotel and got back to my room safely. I then just called everyone in my cell phone. I am terrible drunk.

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-18447081735944459802008-12-09T11:29:00.000-05:002008-12-09T11:31:11.336-05:00

Hey Everyone I got shows in Iowa this week. Next week I will be in Tennessee. My CD should be available to download online very very soon too so keep your eye peeled. Check out this new episode of Man in the Box that I helped write.

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-8979223786481835292008-10-06T07:54:00.001-04:002008-10-06T07:54:17.994-04:00

So on Otc 17th I am recording a cd in Lakewood, Oh at The Winchester. The event will be hosted by Stansbury from the Maxwell show. Also performing will be Jim Tews, Chad Zumock and Ryan Dalton.Click the banner below to buy your tickets in advance because there is a chance it will sell out.It is only 5 dollars and it starts at 8:30 pm

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-55753176343314933152008-09-12T23:37:00.003-04:002008-09-15T09:20:43.842-04:00

So right now I am in the nasty nati. Cincinnati is a cool place. I did a Mitch Hedburg tribute on tuesday that was one of the highlights of my comedy career thus far. Also about a week ago I won a comedy contest and the Grand Prize is a spot on Live at Gotham on Comedy Central in 2009.I also found out that the HBO webseries I am a part of is now available to watch on Cinemax On Demand and they

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-9861342932590072422008-07-24T10:43:00.003-04:002008-07-24T10:48:41.524-04:00

So on August 16 I am doing a show. A show where I am the headliner. I am excited for this show. it is going to be me on stage for a good 45 minutes to an  hour. I need a lot of support.The show is in Kent, Oh at a bar called Checkers and Trophies. It costs $10 and it will be a lot of fun.352 w Elm StKent, OH 44240Also performing is the very funny Jim Tews.

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-86371571597655520452008-07-01T12:16:00.000-04:002008-07-01T12:17:33.894-04:00

I am pretty proud of this episode.Bill's Earring

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-13456695697324739962008-06-08T23:15:00.004-04:002008-06-08T23:47:30.053-04:00

 Living with a woman can is very rewarding. I enjoy it on every level. I have made some peculiar observations about my woman that I think are very strange.Lets start off simple. Televsion. A great invention that I use as an escape. I watch sports and movies to my mind of the fact that I have a huge amount of debt and a whole lot of inconsistent work. I watch the discovery channel a lot. My

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-49018613356217770072008-06-04T23:25:00.003-04:002008-06-04T23:49:45.311-04:00

When the topic of slavery comes up most people think of the Southern States using Africans as slaves. Some people might think of the Jews in Egypt. Through out all history there have been slaves and there will always be slaves. I say this as a former slave and a former slave owner. If you have an older brother or a younger brother then you know exactly what I am talking about. From the time I had

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-79185187697545713662008-06-02T20:19:00.004-04:002008-06-02T20:34:02.227-04:00

Sex and the City. There I said it. I like the show. My girl got me into it. I went in thinking this is gonna suck but it didn't. I saw the movie and it was good. I am shocked that on rottentomatoes.com Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has a better rating. I will admit there are some very cringy moments on the show but there are some genuinely funny ones. Like one of my favorites

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-75605916574642863672008-05-25T10:33:00.003-04:002008-05-25T11:13:17.455-04:00

SPOILER ALERT: These won't be spoilers as much as time savers. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal SkullWhen I heard they were going to make this movie two years ago I wondered "Why?" . Why do this to such a great character? Why make him old and feeble? Well they didn't make him any older except in appearance. He was indestructable. Nothing can hurt this man. He survives a nuclear blast

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-23621091267325957372008-05-19T16:47:00.005-04:002008-05-19T16:53:45.095-04:00

The nerd in me is taking over. There is no reason to post this as a blog but I am just very excited for The Dark Knight this summer. Here is the latest preview.I am also looking forward to Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Then there is The Incredible Hulk starring Edward Norton. I was shocked to find out Edward Norton would do a comic book movie. The trailer looks good but

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-972458552226801182008-05-18T22:30:00.003-04:002008-05-18T22:58:22.142-04:00

Being a parent is tough now a days. With all the drugs, sex, and pedophiles kids have a lot on their plate and are more stressed than ever. So every week I will give you a new tip on how to effectively raise your child to be the kind of person you wanted to be.Tip #1: Showing kids who's the boss.I know what you are thinking right off the bat but this isn't Family Guy so keep the Tony Danza 

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-58969364843616999932008-05-07T10:10:00.001-04:002008-05-07T10:10:24.561-04:00

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-59133875620076079182008-03-25T00:46:00.004-04:002008-03-25T01:44:05.451-04:00

Last week Obama did the first thing that I have enjoyed this whole election. If you don't know the deal I will give you a lil rundown in my own words. He has a preacher that has talked about white people in an unkind racist way. Apparently you can't do that anymore so some one please tell Paul Mooney he has to be nice to us now. It is a sad time in America when Black people get in trouble for

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-36504827125693077582008-03-03T00:43:00.003-05:002008-03-03T00:54:07.609-05:00

I have real bad heartburn right now which isn't from my heart at all it is actually from my stomach so I am unable to sleep and bored. Sometimes insomnia is a good thing like if you are trying to play a whole season of Madden in one night or if you decided to start working out the next you have an excuse not to because you got no sleep. I have already run out of things to say about what I thought

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-22536699513032036772008-02-14T12:36:00.003-05:002008-02-18T18:06:13.740-05:00

I love to sleep. I never get enough. Do you like sleep? Then what are your pillows named? Mine are Softy McSofterson and Sir James Alexander Huntington the third, arch Duke of Dreamland. I think of Sleep as one of my favorite hobbies. I write sleep poems. Roses are red violets are blue I like sleep snorrr ewwww. Sleep and I are even myspace friends. I leave Sleep glitter graphics that say things

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-48018250017250418632007-12-31T11:26:00.000-05:002007-12-31T11:29:45.183-05:00

Hey this weekend I will be joke telling at Ridley's Comedy Castle in Royal Oak , Michigan. If you come out I promise that you will be throughly disappointed.www.comedycastle.com 269 EAST FOURTH STREET • ROYAL OAK MICHIGAN 48067 • 248-542-9900

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-67301414961339104492007-12-27T09:18:00.001-05:002007-12-27T09:18:59.798-05:00

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-56141381849054883012007-12-07T10:16:00.001-05:002007-12-07T10:17:19.748-05:00

Don’t take the Christ out of X-mas.I hate when people are like “Keep the Christ in Christmas or Christmas is too commercial.” Shut up you Charlie Brown watching no fun having bag o’ douche.The only good part of Christmas is being greedy and materialistic.You wanna worship the birth of our lord then be my guest but I am drinking eggnog and watching creepy clay-mation Christmas specials from the 60

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-64953695549422612862007-11-28T09:55:00.000-05:002007-11-28T09:57:18.475-05:00

Anyone want to help me build one of these?

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-22866683831237831962007-11-12T13:05:00.001-05:002007-11-12T14:56:26.948-05:00

Man doesn’t this writers strike suck? Well it doesn’t have to because now we can use our old friend imagination to keep our favorite characters busy. I think together we can all prove how worthless those writers are by making up our own stories for our favorite TV characters.Lets start with The Office. This season Jim and Pam have finally hooked up and are falling in love. Michael is the same old

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-25720169882616181602007-11-06T08:08:00.001-05:002007-11-06T08:11:26.171-05:00

Thank You to everyone that came out to Morty's. All the shows were great and I hope when I come back I have some repeat business. However I am sorry about the Colts losing while I was in town. The Browns did win which made me happy. I am headed back to NYC today. I have a show this weekend at COMIX. If I have any NYC fans or friends please come out to this.

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-48813202598831078542007-10-29T16:39:00.000-04:002007-10-29T16:48:04.344-04:00

I went saw "Dan in Real Life" last night with my girlfriend Candra and my other friend Chad. Candra seemed to enjoy the movie but Chad and I tend to be a tad bit over critical. It had its moments but it was such a formula movie it didn't really wow me.I had a bunch of funny comments I was going to make about it last night but I didn't write them down and now I got nothing. Movies are too

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-33700699267806921222007-10-23T15:38:00.000-04:002007-10-23T15:42:09.863-04:00

You just hope and hope it rains candy and are always waiting for grown ups to sing and dance like they do on tv and in movies.

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-52891560285871249552007-10-17T15:15:00.000-04:002007-10-17T15:26:02.115-04:00

This week I will be performing at the Cleveland Improv. This is my home club and it is one of my favorite places to perform because you never know what is going to happen.Here are my top three favorite moments working at the Cleveland Improv#3. When I was working the door there the MC wasn't around to bring up the headliner so I had to run on stage and introduce the Headliner. I asked everyone if

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-57260675345079051422007-10-15T22:50:00.000-04:002007-10-15T22:52:01.871-04:00

If you are in the NYC area come check out this show. Tickets are only $10 if you buy them in advance.sat, nov 10th newjack showcomix353 w 14th st, near 9th ave5:30pm doors open, 6pm show$10 tickets online at:http://www.comixny.com/event.aspx?eid=287&sid=846

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-22777586759664442652007-10-14T11:02:00.000-04:002007-10-14T19:40:52.994-04:00

So this week I have been in Ohio because I was performing in Youngstown Friday and Saturday. The Shows were good and I got to work with Joe Starr who is a great old school comic. He is a classic and if he is in your town go see him you will enjoy it.On the way home from Youngstown last night I was in a little bit of an accident. I wasn't hurt but my car is pretty messed up. I swerved to avoid a

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-64581370831411305342007-10-11T01:00:00.000-04:002007-10-11T01:05:29.520-04:00

Roomies is a lil series my roommates and I are filming for fun. Watch the videos and let me know what you think. They are pretty short so you have time.Episode 1Episode 2Episode 3

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-19130005765325278742007-10-07T18:10:00.001-04:002007-10-07T18:11:44.580-04:00

The Comedy Connection in Chicopee was a good time last night. Thanks to everyone that came out and to Robert Kelly for bringing me.

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-88125712832371243552007-10-06T01:18:00.000-04:002007-10-06T01:28:40.303-04:00

The Indians won in dramatic fashion tonight. It was a great game to watch. In the eight inning the field became over run with lil bugs called "Canadian Soldiers". Canada, thanks for the bugs they helped us get the win.Since there were bugs involved in the outcome of the game every sports writer in th country is trying to come up with funny bug related headlines.So I am going to play along and

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-73811479012446700262007-10-05T19:36:00.000-04:002007-10-05T19:42:28.668-04:00

Why do we try to hang out on to our youth? Why can't we just age grace fully? Why do I see so many twenty-forty year olds? "Bill, that is not a real age or even a real number?" It is though. you them in malls and night clubs all across America. Older folk who are just so stylish that they have to wear what the kids are wearing. Crows feet and off center screen print tees really don't go to that

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-68025448772704913192007-10-05T17:15:00.000-04:002007-10-05T17:31:52.255-04:00

Today I went to a taping of a show on XM Radio called "Unmasked". It is hosted by the very funny Ron Bennington of the "Ron and Fez Show" and he interviewed Bob Newhart. It was very surreal to be that close to one of the first people I can remember watching on TV. He is a comedy legend and he is still very funny. He talked about Jack Benny being his favorite comedian and being on Carson.I had no

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6987048722698572497.post-66084077775547961592007-10-05T01:33:00.000-04:002007-10-05T01:36:03.343-04:00

The Indians destroyed the Yankees tonight. Hopefully they will keep it up. C.C. looked a little shaky but he got the job done. I hate that Lebron is a Yankees fan. He cheers for the Yankees and the Cowboys. Will anyone be surprised when he leaves us for the Knicks or the Bulls?

Billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18216678787371459375noreply@blogger.com0